Here at MBR Acres we pride ourselves on our security. We haven’t had a break-in so far this year and only two in 2022 – and they only stole a few our our Beagles.
Not only do we have our High Court Injunction to keep people away we have also invested heavily in razorwire all around our perimeter fence, and unlike most companies that put it on top of the fence, we have placed it halfway down the fence so it isn’t even on our border and is the perfect hight to hurt wildlife and ramblers. We even put the razorwire across the patched-up hole where the intruders came in last December – remember no breaches this year.
We also pay the lowest rates to ensure we have the best security guards. Our security team is led by Rainbow – we think that the name he likes to be known by – who is a cracked physical specimen! Unfortunately, when he got his brain he thought they said trains and asked for a small wooden one but we guess he can’t have anything! Rainbow also suffers from halitosis which explains why he wears a mask all the time but we are not sure why the rest of the team also wear masks, we just assume they are ugly but that’s not a problem as they’re cheap. Our security team obviously cannot stretch their industry-lagging wages to purchase enough dog food for their security dogs but they fit right in with our ethics of not caring about the animals.
Rainbow and his team are always on hand to harass any passing ladies and children and they find that throwing paperwork at them and insulting them is more productive than explaining why we spent all that money on the injunction. We know we could spend more and get SIA Security but that we destroy our profits – if we had any!
Some of the other Security Team members are George, Zippy, and Geoffrey and when we expect there may be an increased presence at our gates then we can always get Rod, Jane and Freddy to assist and stop anyone climbing Up above the streets and houses…